May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
