it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
