What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
