This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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