is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
