Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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