dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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