Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
