why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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