we have officially lost it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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