Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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