He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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