Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
