Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
