You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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