okay pat passed out under dana's car
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
