I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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