the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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