What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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