the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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