Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it's like iHOP with fire
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
