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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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