I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
