We won't sleep together?
I hate all girls vehemently.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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