last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
