Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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