yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You may now shotgun with the bride
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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