woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
