i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
