sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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