just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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