I think I am morally bankrupt
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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