Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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