Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize