I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
