i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
