I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do vagina's smell?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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