afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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