Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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