I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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