I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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