Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
