You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we're so committed to being not committed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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