She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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