cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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