dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
