dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize