I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I supernannyed him into submission
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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