Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
