I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
