just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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