Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
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I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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