Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
