i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
