I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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