I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
