so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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