i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
