If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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