so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
