Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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